The Value of Silence

Sometimes when we are driving around town running errands, heading to my mum’s house for a visit, or picking up my husband from work my daughter will pipe up from her car seat in the back and say, “Mom, can we just have some quiet time right now, please?”

IMG_0220

At 5 years old this kid is already wise to how wonderful and necessary silence can be. Normally we’d have music or an audio story playing, but many times she’ll specifically request that I turn the radio off and keep my own mouth shut as well.

At my very first Reiki session as a professional practitioner years ago I had quiet, soothing music playing (as I still do with sessions today). Somewhere about three quarters of the way through the appointment my playlist ended and I may or may not have gone into full on panic mode. I immediately started overthinking the entire situation, convinced that the client noticed the sudden lack of Deuter filling the room and was therefore having a terrible time. I actually nervously said, “whoops, my music stopped! Let me just fix that…” and proceeded to fiddle with my phone DURING THE APPOINTMENT until the playlist restarted. Thinking back to this I can’t help but cringe and wonder why I placed such worth in music playing while I worked.

When I had someone in for a Reiki session earlier this year a similar situation happened. For whatever reason the music cut out during the appointment unexpectedly and the client and I were left with a starkly silent room.

I kept it that way.

IMG_0311

What a difference a few years and some perspective can make. Where I was once afraid of lacking sounds to fill a space, I now value that absence so greatly.

Seeing my daughter not only requesting but enjoying silence already brings me so much joy. As a kid I would often fall asleep with headphones on listening to music, the bus ride to school would be full of chattering students or whatever radio station the driver felt we deserved that day, and from homeroom to last bell I’d have the voices and sounds of classroom after classroom in my ears, followed by all the varying volumes of my family and home life.

I remember all of that as an accepted constant, but I also remember the small moments in time where the act of quiet mindfulness started wandering into my life: as a tween, looking out the window and watching the snow so intently after my mother told me that if I listened hard enough I could actually hear the snow fall, and later as a teenager in psychology class learning a brief meditation instructed by my teacher as she turned out the lights and had us all lay our heads down on our desks and close our eyes.

Now as an adult I am grateful for those initial introductions to silence as a sacred opportunity. We don’t need noise all the time! We get enough of that just simply existing in the modern world.

One of my favorite things to do, and as a stay at home mom to a 5 year old this is a very rare occurrence, is sit down with a cup of tea and a cozy blanket and just be in my home.  Literally just being there. Not folding laundry while listening to a podcast, or washing the dishes while my daughter asks for more water, or strawberries, or pretzels, etc. every 5 seconds, or yelling, “ALEXA! PLAY FROZEN TWO MUSIC!” Just sitting down and leaving the quiet as it is.

This is not to say that I don’t enjoy my home when it is full of noise (just so we’re clear, I love the Frozen II soundtrack and Lost in the Woods will never not be on repeat in my head) or that when I do have some quiet time it’s completely void of noise, but when I sip my tea on my couch next to my sleepy chihuahua I am reveling in my own version of silence.

It’s enough for me for now.

 

Quest for the Press

I am someone who enjoys a good challenge, and by “enjoy” I mean practically destroy myself in the process of trying to achieve success. Exhibit A: my brief but unbelievably intense obsession with press handstands.

If you’re not familiar with the term, a “press handstand” just means that rather than kicking up to get yourself vertical, you lift your lower body off the ground like magic using mainly core and arm strength. When I first discovered this practice, I quite literally thought I was witnessing some sort of dark sorcery. I could not fathom that it was possible for a human body to just float on up like that. Thus, my obsession began.

Continue reading “Quest for the Press”

Space: Creating It

At the end of last year (is it just me or does it always feel weird to call it “last year” when it was only a few days ago?) I felt the theme of “creating space” arrive in my life. Or, more accurately, I belatedly acknowledged its relentless presence. It had presented itself to me over and over in different ways for months, maybe even years, until I eventually managed to connect the dots (at which point the Universe was probably thinking “ugh, FINALLY.”)

Continue reading “Space: Creating It”

Santosha

How do you view your life right now?

What words would you use to sum up an average day?


 

When speaking to a dear friend of mine recently, I marveled at his life with his husband and used the term “exciting” to describe it. He was so quick to refute that! He, instead, offered the word “boring”.  I argued back, stating that no, in fact, it was MY life that lacked intrigue. Is this what it’s like, being an adult these days? Competing to see whose life is the most dull?!

Continue reading “Santosha”

Surviving Infidelity (& winter)

IMG_1739

Happy New Year!

Winter has always been a difficult season for me. The frigid weather, the snow, the daytime hours seeming to be over before they’ve even really begun. In fact, several years ago I actually moved to California in hopes of escaping the “winter blues” I always seemed to get afflicted with year after year. It didn’t help! I moved back to Massachusetts after just a year on the west coast.

This year is especially difficult for me. I had briefly mentioned in an introductory newsletter that I came to own The Healing Center after a very traumatic event in my life. That event was my discovery of my husband’s infidelity. There are a few hundred subscribers on this mailing list, and statistics show me that many of you have likely been in this position before in some form. To those of you that have: I understand. To say it is life altering is an understatement of unimaginable proportions.

This year, in addition to my usual burden of dealing with low energy and positivity as result of the season, I am also tasked with searching for emotions and qualities within myself to assist me in my journey of recovery. Seeking out acceptance, optimism, compassion, confidence, and independence (for starters) has been the very opposite of an easy endeavor…but I have been succeeding. I have spent countless hours the past few months looking inward and allowing myself the time it is taking to accept that this event in my life does not define me.

I read somewhere once that sometimes we are taken into troubled waters not to drown, but to be cleansed. I truly believe that. During many meditations I have sat with the idea that I am the one, the ONLY one, with the power when it comes to my thoughts and feelings. Is this idea easier said than done? Of course! But it is also true. I alone have the power to choose to be happy, to choose what defines me, and to choose how I let outside factors affect me. So this winter, and in this new year, I am attempting to put those words into action. I am attempting to find myself cleansed and renewed from this—both my personal trauma, and the desolation of winter. Will I still have hard days? Will I still desperately miss the warm sunshine and green foliage? Will I still struggle to get out of bed some mornings? Yes, yes, and yes. But I am still trying, because my happiness will always be worth all the energy I have within me to supply to it.

If you have suffered (but survived!) through infidelity in your life, please take advantage of my offer of half off of a private Reiki session for you during the entire month of January ($15 for 30 minutes, $30 for 60 minutes.) Email me at info@thehealingcenterbeverly.com to set up an appointment. or call 978-338-5571. The path to healing is paved with patience, introspection, and most importantly: self-care.

To quote Robert Frost, since his last name and these words feel so appropriate here and now: “The best way out is always through.”

 

-Katherine

P.S. Check out the Classes/Workshops tab on the website to see what else THC has to offer in 2016!