There’s No Crying in Yoga

This past weekend was another yoga teacher training session for me and lo and behold, my floodgates finally opened and tears spewed from me like bats out of hell. I have already expressed that heart openers/backbends affect me greatly, so really it was only a matter of time before this deluge happened, yet I was still overwhelmed and beyond embarrassed.

On Saturday we were yet again working on urdhva dhanurasana (wheel pose) and my instructor asked me if I’d be willing to volunteer so he could demonstrate the ways for a teacher to help align a student in the pose. I believe my enthusiastic response was, “not really”. He asked why and I explained that heart openers in general are difficult for me. Not letting me off the hook, he pressed further and asked if I meant they were physically difficult, or difficult in an emotional way. I said the latter. Even as I said that and finally agreed to do the pose, I felt myself tearing up. I was so hoping that would be the extent of things. Continue reading “There’s No Crying in Yoga”

How Do You Feel?

No, really, how do you feel?

Do you know? Have you been paying attention? Do you have words to describe what you’re feeling?

Chances are good that some of you can say how you’re feeling in great detail, and some of you are going “huh?”

It’s okay either way, it’s just a chance to see how much you pay attention to how you’re feeling.

Some people make decisions by how they feel, other people would never do that and make decisions only by what they think and reason out. Again, there’s nothing right or wrong with either way, it’s just how people function.

I pay a lot of attention to how I feel, sometimes so much that I can’t get out of my own way for feeling…feelings.

As you might guess, that’s also how I make many of my decisions—by how I feel.  Years ago I taught myself to feel in my gut (around the third chakra) how a “yes” or “no” feels for what I am considering. Often a “no” is a sinking feeling as of energy being pulled out when it shouldn’t be. A feeling of being drained, so that I know if I decide to do what I am thinking of, I will regret it. Sometimes it takes a while to see how my gut was right, but I do find out eventually.

When I don’t feel any disturbing energy stirring in my gut, all is quiet, then I know that answer is yes, and again I can act on it with assurance.

I have learned to be very grateful for that inner guidance, my “gut feeling”.

 

But following my feelings is a tricky road to walk, especially as I have spent so much time in the land of depression with its attendant anxiety and despair. When I am feeling I can’t go on, is that a clear message from my gut to stop and do nothing? Or is it my depression, anxiety, or fear nudging me to take the safe road and do nothing?

When I am feeling “awful”, any number of ways to feel including chronic emotional pain, I struggle to push myself into any sort of action, whether getting out of bed or going to work or getting on the computer. It is a real battle sometimes to know what feeling to honor to know whether I can push past the feeling into action or to just say I can’t right now and let myself be.

 

There is also the question between what we feel and what is actual intuition and what is just emotion. What is the difference between feeling emotion, pain, etc, and feeling intuition?

Ask yourself this question and find what your own answer is.