I was going along with my life just fine, not even feeling run down or tired. Out of the blue, at 4am on Monday morning, I woke up with a pretty violent stomach bug. It kept up it’s siege on my system for about 12 hours. I was so sick that I wanted my mom to come over, until I realized I was probably contagious. By the evening, I was finally starting to hydrate and even got a few crackers down. On Tuesday, I was completely exhausted from the physical toll on my body, and my only activities were to drink fluids, eat what I could and rest on the couch. Wednesday was more nourishing, and I pushed myself to disinfect my home. Yesterday, I went to work, and I was completely overwhelmed and exhausted.
I was more drained from this experience than I realized. One of my students was moved yesterday to text me a message that she received that she thought may be meant for me. I want to share it with you here because it really struck a deep chord with me:
“Today we believe God wants us to know that… illness is often a sign that there are needs you are not taking care of. Sometimes your body gets sick so that you are forced to slow down and become aware of the messages of your heart and the desires of your spirit. Only when you step outside from the daily treadmill, can you attune to these more subtle inner callings. Don’t wait to get sick before listening to these inner messages.“
Today, I am resting again. I spent a long time in meditation this morning, listening inward to see if there were any messages for me. What I discovered that was that in the busyness of my day to day life, I have stopped listening inward on a regular basis. Listening inward is what got me through my divorce and chronic pain journeys. It’s what guided me to start my Reiki practice and open The Healing Center. It’s even what lead me into my MBA program.
And yet, in my constant push to tend to my responsibilities at work, meet my deadlines for school, and even striving towards my weight-loss goals, I have lost the habit of listening inward. Although I do meditate daily, my practice has become more of a doing than a being. When I meditate what I do is run my energy: grounding and centering, clearing out my energy field and chakras, filling up with love and light, recharging. Then I open my eyes and hit the ground running to accomplish all my targets for the day and the week ahead.
The energy of the late fall and winter is to go within, to be restful, to contemplate and just be. I certainly was just being present with myself on Monday and Tuesday when what my body needed was so loud and insistent there was no room for anything else. It took a pretty icky illness to get me to slow down and just be.
The message above was just what I needed to hear to learn the lesson, and stop myself from jumping right back into the fray. I relearn this lesson over and over again because it’s the hardest one for me to assimilate. I’m good at doing – it feels good to do, do, do, and check things off my to-do list. It’s really hard for me to sit around and relax, especially when I’m alone. It feels awkward and uncomfortable. And yet, it’s what I am reminded again and again that I need to learn. This may take some creative thinking. My to-do list is massive, and in order to get those down times where I’m “off”, it needs to be downsized (deferred, delegated, dropped) so it can be accomplished during my “on” times.
Does this message resonate with you? Let me know!
This coming week, join me…
- Open Meditation at The Healing Center 8:30-10am
- Beverly Farmer’s Market at the old Bell/Beverly Market on Cabot Street from 3-7pm
- Reiki share at The Healing Center is on from 5:30-7pm with Tamara